Sorry I'm late

We've all been late to something. Then our teacher, or boss, or whoever we've kept waiting expects an excuse. Being the responsible people that we are, we won't take any of the responsibility ourselves, that will get us in trouble. So we blame it on other things, external factors. Commonly the traffic or technical difficulties with our alarm clock may be the barer of the blame. At some point, however, these excuses become old, lame, or just boring. So I've done some research, and from various websites I've found my personal top 10 excuses for being late. In no particular order, they are:

1. I was up all night arguing with God.


2. Skinheads stole my dog.


3. The bartender wouldn't let me leave.


4. Your wife took too long making my breakfast.


5. It took me this long to get my blood alcohol level down to the legal driving limit.


6. Please excuse me, I was helping old ladies cross the street to get to church.


7. I was trying to light my cigarette, but I didn't have my lighter, so I spent about 45 minutes looking for flint on the streets to light a piece of newspaper that I found, and then light my cigarette.


8. My moms car broke down. (And I'm too young/dumb/stupid to fix it)


9. Why are you bothering me about this, I have peace in my spirit about it.


10. Had to run down a few old ladies in the park.

I'm sure with time, thought, and booze (?) you all could come up with more and possibly better excuses for being late. Let's see them in your comments!