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Complaining

Complaining is a favored pastime of mine that is shared by at least 99.9% of the world's population. Yes, even you enjoy complaining even if you don't realize it.

Now when I say complaining, I am talking about the act, not necessarily the mental state of the complainer. I do not endorse being ungrateful, discouraged, depressed, discontent, or daft. I do, however, believe that complaining (aka griping) is a prerequisite for sanity, being heard complaining by another, that is, rather than just complaining to one's self. It is amazing, the emotional difference between complaining to yourself as opposed to complaining to a friend. Telling your complaints to a friend or family member will act as therapy (if they're listening), but wallowing in your own grievances will bring you down to further frustration and or depression. I believe that talking about your annoying misfortunes with a good listener is good for not only therapy, but also for problem solving. Thoughts are realized in new ways to people when they hear their words spoken out loud to another. They can sometimes find the answers to problems themselves simply by eavesdropping on their own conversation. At the same time as hearing yourself aloud, you can have the chance to get some advice from an outside perspective from the person listening.

You must understand that not everyone gives good advice. And not everybody wants to be given any advice at all. It is hard to know when the person you are listening to wants advice or is only there for the therapy of being heard and or hearing themselves speak. Yet I have to declare that it should be required that the whiner must listen to the listener's advice out of common reciprocal courtesy. Yet if the complainer refuses to hear it, the listener should not, in most cases, give it anyway.

I pity and loath people who try never to complain at all. I find them pretentious and sometimes oblivious or self-righteous and proud. Everyone has problems and misery loves company. You can quote me on that. To pretend or act like you never have anything to complain about and everything is just hunky-dory all the time, is an attempt to elevate yourself above others. If you practice this, stop now while you still have some friends left (if you still have friends left).

Venting your frustrations healthily with a good listener has been proven to be 259.7% more effective in problem solving than alcohol consumption, and it costs less (unless it's with a shrink). So do your part, listen, complain, and give and get advice.



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Comment by Ralph van den Berg

Posted on 29 October, 2008
I agree that complaining can be a very effective and possibly healthy way to express yourself, but I do feel I must make it clear to other readers- that you should know the difference between complaining and whining. Just the word "whining" even sounds annoying...

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