www.dearblankpleaseblank.com

Dear one red sock,
Not cool man.
Sincerely, all the white laundry.

Dear Ignorance,
You will never be me.
Sincerely, Bliss.

Dear lady sitting next to me on the train,
Raising your voice will not improve your cell phone reception.
Sincerely, annoyed commuter.

Dear Microwave Popcorn,
Please pop all the kernels in the bag.
Sincerely, if I wanted half a bag, I'd share.

Dear Other Continents,
Please stop using me as an example when referring to starving children. There are hungry kids EVERYWHERE.
Sincerely, Africa.

Dear cockroaches,
Yes, you can survive a nuclear holocaust, but can you survive being hit by a shoe?
Sincerely, a human.

Dear Tooth Fairy,
Thank you for teaching me that it's okay to sell my body for money.
Sincerely, little girls around the world.

Dear McDonalds customers,
Please don't look at me like I'm below you. You're the ones eating this crap.
Sincerely, McDonalds employee.

Dear person snoring in the library,
Enjoy the mustache.
Sincerely, trying to study.

Dear Answering Machine,
I think we all know what to do after the beep.
Sincerely, Everyone.

Dear Boys,
Gotcha!
Sincerely, Push-Up Bras.